Not sure what to title this one to be honest
September 17, 2008 at 5:30 pm
There were a few points today at which I thought, “Hey, I should go blog about this right now”, but for one reason or another I did’t get around to it cuz something or other came up. So I guess this post will just be about a bunch of random stuff that’s been popping in my mind.
I hate that I inspect my son now everytime I look at him like he is some sort of science expirement. Ok. it’s not that bad, but I caught myself a few times trying to see if I could notice anything with his eyes. He looked fine to me. He goes to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully we will have some answers. From what I read, depending on the child, treatment can last for a few weeks or up until they are 8-10 years of age. I’m praying for the former for sure.
My dad went in for an angiogram (I’m pretty sure that’s what it was). They basically checked to see if had any blockages in his arteries etc. Thank God they did not find anything and said he has a healthy heart.
My wife and I have been pretty stressed lately. On top of all the personal issues we have had to go through with our children, we have so many life factors that keep hitting us head on. We are considering putting the house on the market and getting something similiar farther north. Unfortunately the market stinks right now and we would probably wind up breaking even. For the area we are in and the price/size of our house, I don’t see it being a problem actually selling it. I just don’t want to have to go through all this, and deal with the moving issue etc. I know it’s a bit selfish but I had my studio in boxes for years and the thought of putting it back in boxes again is driving me crazy.
Life tends to be like a rollercoaster. You have your little ups and downs along the way, but then you have these slow climbs to the top, then a fast fall to the bottom. I would like to think we are on the climb back up, but I think we stalled at the bottom of the last drop. There are been a lot of improvements in our emotional lives lately, which I am blessed for. It’s kinda funny cuz it was the opposite a few years ago, we go the house, car, and child, and it seemed to drain us emotionally. Now we feel like we are losing it all, and we connect and grow emotionally. Makes me release what a delicate balance it really is. It’s funny what you learn when you are high and low, and how sometimes you don’t even see what is happened until you turn around and look when it is behind you. Moving forward I guess the lesson here is to learn how to balance your physical and emotional needs. As we prepare ourselves to restructure our lives we can’t forget to maintain the emotional health we are building. Even though the stresses of the physical needs impact our emotional health, it’s been amazing what we have been able to achieve together as a couple. I thank God for giving me a partner like Jessica. I couldn’t imagine being able to get through this without her.
ugh ugh ugh ugh
September 16, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Ok so I don’t even have this blog for a few days and I am already posting a complaint.
My wife just got back from the doctor with my son Andrew. She took him in because lately when he has been waking up his right eye has been noticeably lazy. So the doctor looked at him today and said it was obvious to her (without doing the test because he wouldn’t sit still) that he has a lazy eye.
I’m starting to calm down now, but I mean how fair is this? With all the crap we have to deal with in regards to Mary Elizabeth, now my son has to have some issues too? I am just sick of having to deal with specialists and other fancy schmancy doctors.
I guess treatment will involved glasses, possibly an eye patch, and worse case surgery. We won’t know for sure till he sees the specialist, so we are just going to have to wait till we get the appointment.
In the end I know he will be fine because I have faith in God that he will take care of it, but it still doesn’t soften then blow right this second.
What my wife means to me - Part 2
September 15, 2008 at 3:09 pm
So what does my wife mean to me? Let me start by saying my wife means EVERYTHING to me.
Let me start by saying marriage gets put down a lot, it gets a bad reputation, and in general people do not look at it as a good thing. Why do people get married if they talk bad about it? Personally I think a lot of people do it because we think we SHOULD do it. I don’t think a lot of people REALLY understand what marriage means and they expect it to be some easy road where things just work out and fall in to place. Marriage is like anything else in life, you get out of it what you put into it. So if you put nothing in, you will get nothing out.
There have been points throughout my marriage where I have felt less than spectacular, but recently I have done a lot of reflecting and realized that it was my own fault for not putting in as much effort as I should have been. So I cannot even tell you how happy I have been in my marriage since I have started working towards a happier marriage and putting in the effort it deserves.
The root if this happiness however, does not stem from my own efforts or anything I personally have done. It all stems from my wife Jessica. Who would want to work towards something if there wasn’t really anything worth working for? I love my wife, and making her happy is my ultimate goal, and THAT alone makes me happy. I don’t care what she does or doesn’t do for me, I find happiness in seeing her happy. To me that is the ultimate sacrifice of love. I would spend an eternity being miserable if it meant she was happy.
See the great thing is, when you are with that special someone, all the love and happiness you give, you also get in return. I will be the first to admit as I stated earlier that I wasn’t putting in what I should have, but Jessica never faltered in what she put into this marriage. She is one amazing woman and all these words I use to describe how awesome she is, will never even capture 1/10th of the woman she is.
When I hear about a Godly woman, and what God designed woman to be, I see all of that in my wife. The most obvious thing is her nurturing side. This I think is most apparent to everyone on the outside. One of the reasons I fell madly in love with her was because of this. She used to babysit FIVE kids for many years. I KNEW she would be an amazing mother, and I always wanted a family so that ranked very high on my list. I don’t need to expand on this because I believe it is faily obvious.
Another great characteristic that many people may not see is her loyalty. She lives and dies for me. If anything so much as a mosquito bit me, she squish the thing before it had a chance to finish biting me. She will do (and has done) anything for me. She is completely selfless in this regard, an area where I have just recently began to return to her. She will defend her family and friends to no end. Some people may see this as a fault or something else, but no one can understand the feeling of having someone stand behind you no matter what, especially in a me first society. The bible tells us to always stand behind our spouse, even if they are wrong, that is something I have struggled with as well but have recently grown in.
She is also extremely supportive. I see how so many people come to her for comfort and to talk. I always joke with her that she should have gotten a degree in physchiatry. I am constantly amazed at the amount of counseling she does with friends and family, she is extremely easy to open up to and always has something encouraging to say. No matter what issues I may be facing, I know that I can always go to her for comfort. Many of you know the issues we face with our daughter’s medical condition, she is always the strong one when dealing with these issues. I always wish I had her strength to deal with things.
The other thing that amazes me about my wife is her emotions. She wears her heart on her sleeve. Some people would think she is overly emotional with certain things, but they really don’t understand at all. If everyone actually felt how strongly she felt about things, the world would really be a better place. She loves her friends and family so much, its amazing to see how much a stray comment can sting. The bible says our tongues are like swords, we do not realize how much damage we can do with one bad word. I myself always bury things, its just the way I have learned to deal with things. In reality I am not dealing with them at all. Picture yourself as a cup, you fill yourself up with burried emotions, until you can’t fit in anymore. You have no room for love or any other emotions. You keep pushing more and more in until it just bursts and comes flying out. Thats why I think she has such a huge capacity for love, because she lets herself FEEL her emotions instead of hiding from them. I cannot tell you how much I envy that about her.
Jessica has to be one of the funniest people I have ever met. Most of you don’t get to see the silly/cute/funny/playful side. She has this funny habit of creating her own words when she accidently pronounces another word wrong, for example “crystalflowbic”, when she was trying to say claustrophobic. We have spent countless hours in bed just laughing uncontrollably at the silliest things. I love to laugh, comedies are my favorite types of movies, and I have to say that she keeps me laughing on a daily basis.
I really could go on forever with everything I love about my wife, but I would probably reach the limit of my database before I could finish. I guess the main thing about my wife that I feel (besides love of course) is INSPIRED. She makes me a better person, and she makes me want to be a better person. She really does mean everything to me and I don’t know what I would do without her. I honestly don’t know that I could survive without her by my side. There is no better feeling than coming home to a warm smile, big hug, and a passionate kiss.
Jessica, I know you are reading this (mostly because Ill be sending you the link when im done lol) so I want you to know what you mean to me, and that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy, and I look forward to the rest of our lives together.
What my wife means to me - Part 1
September 15, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I recently joined a men’s bible study group at my church. This past sunday was the second day we met. The basic premise of the group is to explore common issues that men face and to discover what God designed a man to be.
So this past meeting we discussed how man is made in God’s image, so we looked up a few scriptures that show the different characteristics of God. Matthew 23:37 show’s the nurturing side of God, the characteristic that women tend to show more, although Men also show this characteristic as well. The man’s predominant characteristic of God is the warrior as shown in Exodus 15:3.
During the study I had a few thoughts that I did not share but probably should have. If we are made in God’s image, then how can Men be predominantly warriors and women be predominantly nurterers? Is God a man or woman? I don’t believe that matters much to be honest, but it did lead me to a very nice revelation.
Genesis 2:24 says that Man and Woman become one flesh. Think about that for a second. The predominant warrior of the male becomes one with the nurterer of the female, essentially becoming equal parts. I think that is why God put’s so much emphasis on marriage. God felt it was not good for man to be alone so he gave him woman.
I don’t think it is truly possible for anyone to make it through this life alone, I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, and when we find them, we become (together) the true image of God that he created us to be.
In part two I will go into detail about my woman that God gave me, how she has had a profound effect on my life, and the struggles and happiness we have seen together. I hope it encourages anyone who happens to read this.
First Post (for real)
September 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Alrighty, well it sure has been a while since I’ve done ANYTHING with my website. I recently got motivated to do a new design, and well here it is. This is a marshall inspired design, which happens to be one of my favorite guitar amps. This is actually one of the coolest designs I have done, I am rarely proud of my own work, but I can say I am really happy with this one. Over the course of the next few days/weeks I will be populating the rest of the site content, I really hope to blog regularly. This blog will consist of anything and everything I find interesting or want to say, I will not limit it to certain topics etc, it will contain things from my personal life, to world news, tech news etc.
I will categorize the posts on the backend, but I am not sure when I will get around to implementing it on the front end. I want to make sure I don’t get overwhelmed with programming the site or else it will end up half finished.
For those are are curious I am running wordpress, but I’m using template tags rather than modifying one of the default templates etc. So I have a lot of extra work ahead like building the archive pages, so if you used the archvies now they will default to the default wordpress template.
Ok that’s it for now, I will be back later to post more I am sure.
p.s. - comments are currently disabled until I can program the comments popup.
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